@hello_saylor: Hotel room bathrooms really overestimate how much I want to see my own naked body.
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@thatguyJA: My son ate all the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms and well guess who isn't paying for his college now.
@dinokitten: Dad: Why do you smell like weed? Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(
@DaddyJew: If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?
@Try2StopME: 15000 CCTVs 2b installed in Delhi 4r Obama's visit. This is ridiculous. Just because he's black doesnt mean he'll steal anything. Racists!