@briangaar: How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*
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@StymieBrewer: Today I accidentally dropped my sunglasses into the toilet and flushed them. Tomorrow a very cool alligator will rule the sewers.
@liberalcannon: My hobbies are scrolling through twitter, charging my phone and being generally dissatisfied with things.
@WilliamAder: While I fully intended to "sleep my way to the top," it appears I've napped my way to the middle.