@briangaar: How about a superhero whose power is TAKING CARE OF HIS KIDS *high-fives Maury audience while Batman storms off*
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@carlyme23: If you want her - tell her. If you need her - show her. If you yearn for her - touch her. Just make sure her husband's not at home.
@iwearaonesie: wife:Gotta go. You guys gonna be ok? me [making my Pop-Tart pop out of the toaster and trying to catch it] Come on! wife:9, you're in charge
@SatansTongue: (Selling my soul) Just sign here and here "I should have a lawyer read this" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those