@juliussharpe: How about instead of shaking hands we nod at each other and that way we both won't have to wash our hands?
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@WheelTod: Dating tip for ladies: some guys will be scared off if you don't wait until the third date before asking him to murder your husband.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why do you do chores if you don't like to? Me: The same reason you eat your vegetables. 5: Because Mom is scary? Bingo.