@TheMichaelRock: How about we don't pick a president this time and everyone promises to behave themselves.
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@man_spach: *tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*
@mrtruthandsoul: Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. "We call it the melon-cauli," says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I'm so sorry
@DurtMcHurtt: Her: Stop stalling and sign the divorce papers. Me: *does "the divorce papers" in sign language* THERE I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY