@TheMichaelRock: How are expecting to cure cancer when we as a society can't figure out how to merge into traffic correctly?
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@Procaffinator: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos.
@VestaTot: There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket.
@thepunningman: "So how are the anger management classes?" We have to crochet stuff when we get mad "Sounds stupid" [I furiously make a beautiful cardigan]
@robfee: Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat.