@TheMichaelRock: How are expecting to cure cancer when we as a society can't figure out how to merge into traffic correctly?
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@mikeleffingwell: My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent.
@JerseyRambo: My psychiatrist is mad at me, told him I could hear people but couldn't see them...he said when does this happen...I said over the phone
@amydillon: My life these days is basically the "before" segment of an infomercial for a revolutionary new mop.
@dave_cactus: ME: *seductively removes her G-string* HER: Could you please just hurry up and finish restringing my guitar?