@filth_waste: how are we gonna sell our car this year? how about a commercial where the car is driving around on roads. great work everyone time for lunch
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@hippieswordfish: *emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'
@KeetPotato: [exchanging xmas gifts] me: "if you dont open it you can never be disappointed can you?" schrödinger: "i feel like i brought this on myself"
@donni: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Do you know why I stopped? *silence* *a saxophone wails in the distance*