@hasht4g: How awkward would it have been for coach if he put in Air Bud and they lost.
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@michael_raphone: BOSS: I'm sorry mike, but you've been downsized ME: (75% of my original size, in a voice 125% higher pitched) ahh maaan
@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.
@dlockw21: TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ....