@hasht4g: How awkward would it have been for coach if he put in Air Bud and they lost.
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@NewDadNotes: God: you can go on land and water. Turtle: nice, but what’s the shell on my back for? God: that’s where you live. Turtle: oh my gosh. God: what? Turtle: I have a house boat!
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.