@str8upjuggahos: How can a middle aged unemployed rat with 4 teenage turtles afford so much pizza?
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@ShawnHatosy: If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?
@tartadepollo: I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.
@ehdannyboy: "Take it with a pinch of salt," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made horrible tea.