@NervousJr: How can you waste food when there are starving children in...ew onions.
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@DrunkkLawyer: During sex it's perfectly fine to say 'yeah', 'yes', 'oh yes'..but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming 'Yep' ..
@weismanjake: Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread
@Rlpihl: [driving 2 school] *looks back,sees toothbrushes in child carseats WAIT! IF YOU'RE HERE THEN... [cut to kids at home, covered in toothpaste]