@NervousJr: How can you waste food when there are starving children in...ew onions.
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@seamussaid: I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write
@jordan_stratton: I can't imagine a better slogan for a glasses company than, "Buy our glasses if you ever want to see your children again."
@AristotlesNZ: Nothing solves all of life's biggest problems like a well-timed, awkward & overly complicated kick to the face. -The Karate Kid.
@SortaBad: Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for "located"