@michaelianblack: How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?
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@slimmy_shady: If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo.
@KattsDogma: "You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD." - 3rd degree burn
@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today." "Why not?" [fakes a sore throat] "I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."
@vexroid: All I'm saying is that the cheese grater wouldn't have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after EVERY use.