@junejuly12: How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
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@jwoodham: Dear Diary: Day 1 of being a gang member. Wore a bandana today, but took it off after a woman shouted "you go girl!" from across the street.
@Coolisiana: Obama: "I have no more campaigns to run...because I won both of them" Biden like 2 years later: LOL OH I GET IT. HES BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TW
@13spencer: I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero.