@zeugirdorej: How come Noah didn't just slap those two mosquitoes?
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@Probgoblin: Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself.
@iresurfaced: Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don't be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don't show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
@NYC_Blonde: If someone specifies that you're book-smart and not street-smart or street-smart but not book-smart, they're calling you stupid.
@clairecdowns: Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!