@avaricious1: How come the only people who can open childproof lids are children? My nephew charges me two vicodin just to open the bottle.
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@Tmoney68: If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be.
@KevinFarzad: FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious.
@DanMentos: [first date] *emptying jar of coins into coinstar* "almost done" so where are we going after this? "what"
@WheelTod: Open-heart surgery is much simpler than most people realize. The key is not to get hung up on whether or not the patient survives.