@lilpwoppa: How come they only do that moustache oil for men? Sexism.
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@ehdannyboy: "Always give your food a rinse before you eat it," my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches.
@Fred_Delicious: Date - "I really dig intellectuals" Me - "oh yeah? well check this out babe" [counts to 17]
@LetMeStart: Parenthood is mostly reminding the kids "no eating on the couch" while you're eating on the couch & agreeing with them that life isn't fair.