@TheAlexNevil: How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?
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@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@dragonsorbet: Me: do you like bad boys? Her: no Me: are you sure? Her: [covers her dog's ears] okay yes
@RandomManik: If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'.
@Donna_McCoy: Computer problems can be solved with duct tape if you apply it directly to the mouth of the person asking you to help fix their computer.