@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?
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@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@ItsAndyRyan: Interviewer: Is it true you are the first duck to be made a duke? Duck: Please address me as 'M'llard'
@usermcuserface: It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life.