@Rschooley: How dare Beyonce bring symbols of past racial strife into popular music performance!!
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@chuuew: ME: [standing in the rain] STRANGER: [taps me on the shoulder] Here's an umbrella ME: Yes. I've seen one before.
@TheGladStork: "Hey kids, you like candy?" I said to my own kids, luring them into my van so I could get them to school and be at work on time.
@brianbowman73: We were watching The Discovery Channel on the couch. I was naked. She was afraid. I guess I should have probably introduced myself first.
@jonnysun: i just foumd out that humpty dumpty is suposed to be an egg. nowhere in the humpty dumpty poem does it say that humpty dumpty is a egg