@JllyJllyFish: How dare room service question "how many people" I need 8 mimosas for 🙄
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@carpetislava: BIDEN: How come you've never shown ME the swamp? OBAMA: Drain the swamp is a metaphor, Joe. BIDEN: Where will Shrek live?
@AdamGrinchyPoo: "Honey, I'm pregnant" "Are you kidding me?" "That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah"
@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
@mommy_cusses: When I'm old, I'm gonna giggle uncontrollably, squirm, and go all sack of potatoes on my son when he tries to get me in the car as payback.