@sbellelauren: how dare you call me when dogs 101 is on
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@BoozeWallet: [pretending to talk on phone while mugger approaches] yeah, so then they told me that my Karate is just too deadly for the Olympics
@doublewenis: Dude! Stop being such a baby, man up, walk over there and ask her if she like, 'like-likes' me.
@junejuly12: Burning bridges was a lot easier when 7 out of 10 people had lighters in their pockets.