@Terdoh: How dare you complain about your life? Someone's mom is Snooki.
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@LuvPug: If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor.
@msdanifernandez: My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road.
@ericsshadow: THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise