@Terdoh: How dare you complain about your life? Someone's mom is Snooki.
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@matt___nelson: JUDGE: I hereby sentence you t- PENGUIN COURT REPORTER: *angrily smashing keyboard with flippers* CAN YOU GUYS SLOW DOWN A BIT
@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.
@Storminika: During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.