@michaelianblack: How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
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@Mike__Lee: My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?
@rockymomax: [wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again
@nedroid: here's my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you're welcome
@hasht4g: What if all countries have ninjas, and we only know about the Asian ones because they suck?