@SCbchbum: How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace’s bath robe? #GrammysRedCarpet
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@JermHimselfish: I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.
@LisaFarted: So I'm trying to get my husband to go to Paris with me but so far my best argument has been, "I will kill you in your sleep."
@EliTerry: TOP PLACES TO DO KARATE IN FRONT OF: 1. Sunset 2. Crashing waves 3. Dad's grave (as casket is lowered) 4. New stepdad's face 5. Quiznos