@robdelaney: How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.
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@TheToddWilliams: [movie casting] ME: I'm here for the stuntman job "Do you have any experience?" ME: No, but I took a… "Please don't" ME: …crash course
@jordan_stratton: *coworker walks into bathroom, triggering the motion sensor that turns the lights on* ME: [from one of the stalls] Welcome.
@BrentTerhune: Just made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.