@elle91: How did that guy know he went through the desert on a horse with no name? Did he try asking the horse? Was he aware that it was probably his job to assign a name if there was not already one in place? A lot of things don't add up here.
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@TheDrunkStory: "I don't understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober." - Florida State
@fsuflores: I feel so bad for all these women that give me their phone numbers and when I call the line has been disconnected This economy is ruthless.
@thepunningman: Police: Cover me Rookie: ok [pulls out guitar] Every little thing she does is magic
@wendchymes: Friend: I haven't had sex in years! Me: meh, join the club Friend: I haven't had coffee in 5 days! Me: DEAR GOD!!!