@StarksWeek: How did we go from crappy gas station coffee to "Yes I'll pay $7 for you to put that in a cup for me"?
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@Angibangie: [The oddity of dating]: Hey I like your face, also possibly your body. Let's see if I can stand your personality until we die Okay?
@T_Bonezzz_: Her Parents: Tell us how u two love birds met Me: We were in a tweet contest & was added to a DM room & then I gave her a fake trophy HP: ..
@squirrel74wkgn: One time I put the burnt side of a grilled cheese face down on my child’s plate and almost got away with it.
@TheBoydP: Wife: What do you think our song is? Me: I'd have to say "Happy Birthday". It's the song we've sung together the most. Wife: Idiot...