How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

@ricsem: Computer dating is fine... if you are a computer.

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@_NTFG_: When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.

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@scarebro: My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.

22

@soanim8ed: Why do prescription pills always say "by mouth?" Where else would people put th... Ooooooh.

1

@JessObsess: You really only have 2 options: 1. You can be miserable bc you're fat 2. You can be miserable bc you're hungry

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