@T_Bonezzz_: How disappointing is it that Han Solo didn't name his son 'Guitar'
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@Home_Halfway: Every time the media has to report on Trump they should misspell his name and call him Mr. Turnip until he loses his mind completely
@TheTweetOfGod: Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete.
@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@ericsshadow: ME: [sitting in kitchen writing out bills] SON: I lost a tooth. I'm gonna leave it under my pillow tonight. ME: I'd wait until next week.