@T_Bonezzz_: How disappointing is it that Han Solo didn't name his son 'Guitar'
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep
@seamussaid: my daughter hones her survival instincts by forgoing the provided bowl and spreading goldfish crackers all over the house to forage & store
@Bagyants: Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about
@KalvinMacleod: MILEY CYRUS: I never went boatin’ and don’t get how they be floatin’ NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: [slowly rising from the ocean] buoyancy