@causticbob: How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Playing_Dad: [Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't.
@TheBeerGuy73: Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law.
@ColoChiver: When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Just for once I wanna be able to say "It wasn't my fault" without 4 people breaking down why it was my fault