@VerifiedJayy: How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
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@JCautomatic: [Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist
@Brianhopecomedy: Went into Dollar Store. Asked for a dollar. Cashier did not give me one. Suing company for false advertising.
@Sephira: 2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
@WheelTod: I remember when I was 12, dad caught me smoking a ham; so to teach me a lesson he made me smoke an entire herd of piglets.