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@SamGrittner: How do chocolate labs not die of themselves?
@Nofstnme: Unfortunately..... Nobody wants to have sex with your inner beauty.
@rickygervais: Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)
@LikeABaus91: Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it.
@kwkorpi: Cigarettes that help you quit chewing gum.
@WillSaysStuff: This post-pregnant lady found the perfect way to shed her baby-belly by giving birth! Scientists and non-pregnant ladies HATE her!!!