@SamGrittner: How do chocolate labs not die of themselves?
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@Sir_Strange: *goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work.
@Thynebear: I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom.
@AndrewNadeau0: Trump is opting not to have celebrities at his inauguration in the same way that I opted not to take any cheerleaders to prom.