@T_Bonezzz_: How do German people not choke to death when they talk
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@LilBlueBlood: Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car
@AbbeYaar: Just accidentally used yahoo to search for something. I think the entire Yahoo! Search staff are having a party and high fiving each other.
@AlexvanBeek: Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning.
@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.