@T_Bonezzz_: How do German people not choke to death when they talk
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@turtledumplin: Boss left his email open. Me: *looks around, send email to district manager "i love you" Now we wait
@wickedsuga: Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing herself immediately after I pet her.
@10InchesPlus: "Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever