@WookieOnUnicorn: How do I feel about your goatee? I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that?
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@yayraptor: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]
@TheEighthKnight: Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
@QwertyJones3: "You're never going to believe this, but my doctor just told me I've got a protein deficiency." "No whey!"
@ashley_barnhill: My mom once asked if Jack Frost was based on a true story. Jack Frost is a movie where a father dies and returns as a snowman.