@WookieOnUnicorn: How do I feel about your goatee? I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jwoodham: It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do.
@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.
@ArfMeasures: *watches Planet Of The Apes* Ugh it's so unrealistic that dumb creatures would rule the planet *watches the news* Oh
@ThaJawn: "No, there's no way!" I totally could "No you couldn't!" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich