@AthenaMystique: How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks.
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@HughGoesThere: Zookeeper: Sir, please leave the hippo enclosure. Me: No. This is my family now. ZK: They don't actually eat marbles. Me: I'm coming out.
@vineyille: How’d you come up with the idea? Inventor of pac man: I took a bunch of pills one night and ate a ghost. I thought “now here’s something”
@JackAsHell: If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party