@AthenaMystique: How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks.
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@KentWGraham: I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.
@SuperShourds: My 4 year told me my tummy looks soft and squishy today, so I put her barbies on the highest shelf on the house.
@RobWeb79: Work said I was going to do a drug test today. So far I haven't tested any drugs, but this weird guy asked me to urinate in a cup.