@AthenaMystique: How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks.
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@fro_vo: [watching wonder woman] *wonder woman comes onscreen* Me: (leans over to date) that's wonder wo-*date throat punches me*
@terio1429: Library charged my Visa $15.60 for my son's lost Dr. Seuss book. Teri got mad oh yes she did, Teri got angry and grounded her kid.
@AtticusFinch79: [date] Me: Wanna watch Star Wars? Him: No interest, before my time. Me *pretending to choke him with my mind* Him: What're you doing?