@AthenaMystique: How do I like my eggs? Unfertilized, thanks.
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@Brampersandon_: *fart noise* ME: it was your dog. I swear! GIRL: my dog died last year you liar GHOST DOG: theres no way she's gonna sleep with you now lmao
@Mike_Bianchi: The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
@Paxochka: It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into.