@DirtMcTurd: How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?
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@joeljeffrey: I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me.
@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.