@DirtMcTurd: How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?
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@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
@NoticablyBacon: Accidentally just told a girl that "she has a nice head" because I appearently have the flirting skills of a serial killer
@weinerdog4life: Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away