@eliserose5: How do I tell a man he loves me?
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@Cpin42: Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family.
@FrogAvalanche: [On phone] "Did u see the weather forecast?" "No. I refuse to be sucked in by Big Weather." "Where are you? Its so noisy." "IN A TORNADO."
@ericsshadow: Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?