@gossipgriII: how do lawyers argue without crying
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@ericsshadow: Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don't want to get off the couch.
@mommajessiec: 9yo: Mom, do you know where the hairbrush is? Me: [brushing my hair with a fork] No.
@ScobeyWanKenobi: Just called the number of a guy I met last night and a pizza place answered. I didn't even know you could live in pizza places. I'm in love!