@gossipgriII: how do lawyers argue without crying
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@DanMentos: "I've got cat-like T-Rexes" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Tyrannosaurus pounces on you*
@2questionable: The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
@bighandsmassuer: People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am
@causticbob: What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.