@nowme_datta: How do people get their drivers to murder someone? Mine sulks if I ask him to fetch groceries.
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@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:
@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@SuperJuanderer: Wife has spotted me tweeting while she is talking to me. This does not please her. She is currently approaching me. She is reaching for my