@kellyoxford: How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?
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@joe_binkley: I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say "I don't think you're ready."
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Time for bed Brain: Ok Brain: PSST. EVER WONDER IF EARTH'S TECTONIC PLATES WON'T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON EARTH?!
@TheDairylandDon: No matter how many shocking surprises life throws at you, you're never quite prepared to hear a British person pronounce the word "vitamin"
@ruinedpicnic: Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit