@ElgatoEsmio: how do you get over the heartache of an ex whose cat ur never gonna see again?
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@RealPrincessKim: Every teen trick-or-treating tonight got a handful of candy and a, "You must be heartbroken. I can't believe Justin Bieber died so young!"
@Playing_Dad: [Cops at crime scene] Cop 1: Criminal scum. They must have taken every single toilet. Cop 2: Wow, they really left us nothing to go on.