@KalvinMacleod: How do you give up in a towel throwing contest?
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@SteveKoehler22: IKEA furniture will now snap together will no tools or hardware. The company boasts that it will save thousands of h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ marriages
@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend
@robdelaney: Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death.