@pizzaguyjay: How do you know you're allergic to cats if you don't even eat them?
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@aveuaskew: My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I've been meowing out the window for 30.
@iGreenMonk: I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.
@MadamBetteNoire: Dance like you aren't depressed. Sing like you didn't kill that homeless guy. Love like you don't have herpes.
@heatherlou_: A "good parenting" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?