@lakeanagirl: How do you say "bra" in German? Stopsemfromfloppin
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@caithuls: [picking up a pile of things from one room] cleaning is fun! [throwing it into a room I’m in less] and Easy :)
@JasonLastname: Somewhere there's a person named Current Resident who has to read every piece of junk mail.
@themiltron: [God creating beards] ADAM: God, I don’t like my face. GOD: Tell ya what, buddy: I’ll cover it in pubes. ADAM: What? That’s not— GOD: Done.
@OctopusCavemann: My 4 year old asked me if tears were made of pee and when I told him “no” he asked why they taste like pee. I have so many questions.