@lakeanagirl: How do you say "bra" in German? Stopsemfromfloppin
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@Kyle_Lippert: If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back.
@ceejoyner: If you don't like your son, grab a football and tell him to go long. Never throw it. He's gone now.
@GrantTanaka: Wife just found out my ring tone for her is "ding dong the witch is dead" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO
@VikeeysSecret: Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.