@platinum2000: How do you tell someone that they're not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FrenulumBreve: [at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"
@lecalabara: Caught my son running a Google search for "adult entertainment". I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family.
@walks_on_legs: Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier.
@StarksWeek: "I put on pants for nothing" - my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled. Someone set up her Twitter account.