@JennyJohnsonHi5: How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?
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@River_Niles: We basically broke up with Pluto by saying it wasn't a planet anymore then spent 9yrs obsessing about it & just drove by its house real slow
@Phook75: If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"
@ClickBaite: [CAVE] BABY DRAGON: Dad, I hate trolls! They are disgusting, evil creatures! DAD DRAGON: Just push them aside and eat your vegetables son.