@OutOnTheMoors: How does an eyelash, so soft and fine, turn into a cheese-grater when it gets under your eyelid?
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@dumbdora77: News:"a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..." They have hover bears? jealous again
@EmilyFreestone1: *boyfriend and girlfriend in shower* Girl: do bad things to me babe Boy: *flicks shampoo in her eyes and trips her over*
@tamizdatum: him: you're a riot me: which one him: haha it's an expres- me: i am the haymarket riot of 1886 him: ok... me: im not some potato riot