@3BlindMike: How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?
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@Shot_Of_Cabo: My daughter found a new boyfriend. I'm just glad the police haven't found the old one.
@AtticusFinch79: I'm so oblivious to someone flirting with me that if they told me to take my shirt off I'd assume it was because I spilled something on it
@LinajkReturns: If he buys your drink, but you're really not interested? Smile at him, thank him and then stick the olive up your nose.