@3BlindMike: How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?
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@too_chihuahua: Dad I'm gay *Dad rips newspaper* "WHAT" I like guys dad "Oh thank god. I thought you were happy for a second"
@trojansauce: [dogs around campfire] *flashlight on face* and when I came back without the ball it was in his hand the whole time
@SamGrittner: Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny.
@behindyourback: Birds do it/Bees do it/Even educated fleas do it/Let's do it/Let's make people super nervous anytime we're in their personal space