@SchooIAnswer: "how is school going?"
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@myles_morrison: Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like "that explains it."
@glenc217: Okay, autocorrect, I get it. Every time I start to type "unattached", you suggest "unattractive". Message received.
@XplodingUnicorn: [breaking up yet another fight] Me: Why do you always fight with your sisters? 6-year-old: Because I always win.