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@PaperWash: How is there not an STD Clinic called, "Clap on Clap off"?
@joshcomers: "Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?" (Dalai Lama job interview)
@GensPlace: Trying to explain to H that when the doctor said he can have one red wine a day, he didn't mean bottle.
@BreadFoster: Man buns: Because girls want the convenience of a guy who always has a hair tie.
@SteveDutzy: Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.
@MacAnnabella: Me: "Gee Thanks for spilling Cheerios all over the floor."
3yo: "You're welcome Mom, look at this!"*scatters more on floor
I deserve that.