@PaperWash: How is there not an STD Clinic called, "Clap on Clap off"?
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@ixix82: "So You Were Trying to Be Polite But Now He Wants to Wear Your Skin As Pajamas: A Woman's Guide to the Internet"
@DumbAlias: Spend hours getting screaming baby to sleep. Check on sleeping baby. Can't hear breathing...prod sleeping baby Repeat
@1Bad_Scientist: I'm at my most British when she says "teabag me" and I drop a sack of Earl Grey in her mouth.