@pakalupapito: how I've been all holiday
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@cortronic: *looks up "how to disarm a bomb in 10 seconds" on YouTube* *ad starts playing* *looks up "how to disarm a bomb in 5 seconds"*
@NicCageMatch: Trying to take the best instagram picture ever but the kittens keep drowning in the latte.
@JohnLyonTweets: Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked.
@Reverend_Scott: Good thing Father's Day is only one day. I don't think I could stand to be a father longer than that.