@CelebrityChez: How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FABrezebabe: *does coke* *has unprotected sex* *smokes cigarettes* "oh haha no I don't drink soda because it's bad for you"
@Sickayduh: "Yeah can I have a triple bacon cheeseburger..." *sees Grim Reaper in passenger seat* *sigh* "and can you put lettuce and tomato on that?"
@usermcuserface: How did you find me?? Cop: Your ransom note had pasted letters from a magazine. It was between you and like 4 other people on earth.
@AnitaHelmet: When it comes to sex, I really need to have a connection. Otherwise the page just keeps buffering and it takes FOREVER to load.