@CelebrityChez: How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?
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@SSDated: If Kevin Bacon never said "want some bacon with your eggs" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s.
@TheToddWilliams: [murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.
@Dawn_M_: Nothing sexier than when a man pulls you close, looks deep into your eyes, and puts a Babybel in your mouth.